Inspired

Dear Inspiration,

Inspired: Or is it just an Illusion 

Education has always been instilled in me.

From childhood all the way to my adult life and this made me believe that my one and only fear was failure. On the other hand it took me many learning experiences to figure out I never really took time out to figure out what was best for me. Life’s misfortunes made me give up on many relationships and made my heart cold but in reality all I really needed to prove is that I have the determination to make a difference in another person’s life. Also, to love everlastingly and sincerely.

If I was to describe myself to anybody I would consider myself a jack of all trades with the motivation to become something great.  My selfish ways have caused me to inflict unwanted pains on to other people as well as myself. Once before I wrote a passage about who am I when nobodies looking and today I stand to revisit that question?

I need to be a better person not only for myself but for those who love me. I realized it is the small things in life that stick out the most in life. I have dreams but I also have many unreachable goals that I preset before I actually realized what I truly wanted out of life. I once put my relationships before my career and finical circumstances and then I was at my happiness. I realized money can never replace that overall feeling of having a family and a special one person to share it with. I really need to realize that I am a homemaker and working is just instilled in me because of the experiences I went through. I’m at the point in my life that I want to love with my fullest and for those who love me back are the ones I am most willing to give my all too. This is only one of my new goal. I have put a ton of thought into the next couple of steps I want to take.

As everyday moves forward I tend to question myself, What if where I’m at where I supposed to be? As the days roll by I start to realize that I can be happy here. I can be happy where ever I go because it is not where you go it’s who you have beside you which count the most.  I never once thought I would ever make it to this point I have given up a lot as well as fought for a lot and I can say that I did make the best decisions. I need to regain that best friend I once had back.

I do have a different attitude but I am no longer letting this affect the people around me especially when I have a purely sincere heart and I am willing to fight for all the love I once lost.  So at some point in life, I ask myself why do I always wait until the last moment to realize I had everything I wanted out of a person and I push them away and when I tried to regain what I had and I realized that what was once there is gone. Finally, I thought about all the stuff I did to under-appreciate it. The things I would give to have back the affection I once had.

Sincerely Yours,

Wishing on a Star